The Garbage State

The boyfriend (formerly GIB) is going to sell his ex-marital house and downsize. We've each been casually looking at homes online.

It's funny how you become conditioned to things after a while. When gas was $3.05/gallon, then you passed a place at $2.87 you'd think "Damn! Wish I had me two tanks to fill at that price!"

As I was looking online at the housing tonight I realized how ludicrous it was that I'd look at a listing and think "Cool, low taxes, only $7,500." He said he'd like to stay around $6,000 if at all possible but that's hard here. He wouldn't consider selling where he is but his taxes are over $13,000 now.

We're both loan officers for big mortgage companies. His business is almost 100% NE Philly. Taxes are low there and the mantra "Why rent when you can buy?" holds true. It's difficult for me to tell that to a renter here in Joisey. A first time buyer is going to have to budget $300-$400/mo just for taxes unless they buy in Camden which has only this year lost it's top position as the most violent-crime ridden city in the nation. quitters. Even there, a $100K rowhome is sporting taxes of $2,000/yr. Someone making $28,000/yr here is going to be renting a long long time - he can't afford a doghouse here.

There are regular articles telling how boomers and retirees have to leave the homes they've owned for 25 years because they can't afford their ever-increasing property taxes. How is someone on fixed income, who has paid off their mortgage, going to be able to budget for $800-$1,000 month for property taxes? Their homes just keep getting assessed at higher values each year. The home they bought for 65K is now valued at 300-400K and that's about $9000+ in taxes.

I know the root of the problem is political (fucking surprise there) and has to do with the fact that we have like 600 school districts in one of the nations tiniest states, each of which has a superintendent and his cadre of underlings. Some of these 'districts' are comprised of exactly ONE school or possibly a high school, middle and elementary. Lots of chiefs, few injuns.

Many of us without kids, me of the womb bearing a self-installed No Parking sign and the elderly, are particularly pissed that we're paying out the ass for over-managed schools. That $700/mo could buy me a very nice assortment of artificial phalli in a wide variety of colors and media, with and without lights, sound and pulsation - an iCock perhaps that we could incorporate into our daily activities. I could actually upgrade some things in my house - if I thought offing the community spawn one by one (or hell, a whole bus at a time) would allow me to install a Viking range and Subzero appliances, I'd be working at the school cafeteria in my hairnet, tainting the mystery loaf.

Many of the Sixers, Eagles and Flyers live here, in the town where we are. It's not unusual to pass one at the grocery store or out at a bar or restaurant. Unless it's someone highly recognizable, like A.I. or John Runyan, or there's a pack of 5 6'4" 240# black dudes chilling at a predominantly stuck-up elitist white bar, high-fiving each other and wearing team jerseys while slinging back 40s, I'm clueless. Someone usually jabs me in the ribs and tells me who they are. I can't understand why they move here. Maybe it's a status thing. They can out-tax the next guy. "Oh yeah? You bought a $2m home in PA? What are the taxes? $6,000 you say? I thought so. My new house in Mt. Laurel, NJ was $1.2m but my taxes man, they 30 G's! Fo shizzle ma' nizzle"

Or something like that.