Size matters?

So okay, I masturbate at least once per day. Let's get that out in the forum. It happens, regardless of my level of partner satisfaction. I'm a horny bitch, I have insomnia issues (maybe this could help me reach Nightyville) and damn it, if I had a dick, I'd suck myself. I'm a guy with an innie and boobage and a pretty face. Damn, DAMN the fates!

I have this 'friend'. He's purple has some enticing appendages. Some may say he's a goon, donning a sphinx-like 3-tongued head and a digitless arm that quivers when provoked (push On, left wheely gauge). I wanted to use the word 'festooned' in that sentence but without slices of American cheese in the equation, I couldn't find a way.

I have to tell you, while I can understand men might be intimidated by the Black Intimidator 3000. I was in N'orleans and found a life-sized fist with elbow-deep replica that left me wondering how one uses that and still keeps ones bowel movements from hitting the floor like Britney's hair in the psych ward.

Oh, I had a story, I forgot... my friend is NOT the BI 3K. Yes, 'he' has decent girth and some appendages my GIB and I have recently acquired (aka vibrating cock ring that hits the C) . And yes, he'll shut the fuck up and sit under the sweater on the shelf if I want but he's not the one I love and doesnt move like a real person. We use other toys together and personally I'd like to use this one but guys need to realize that nothing replaces the real cock and real broad chest against your breasts. the smell of another person, all that... nothing beats a real man.